Friends

My daughter had a book about how to make friends.  I got rid of it because I didn't think she really needed it.  She has a couple of really good friends and then many friends with some acquaintances along the way.  This is pretty much how I have been my whole life.  Now as I get older I find that my list of really good friends has grown as have my number of acquaintances, with a smaller number of friends in the middle.  I am so blessed to have so many really great friends in my life.  Sometimes I think I have more than I can handle.  I am lucky.  Recent events in my life have caused me to lose some people I used to hang out with.  I realize though that my friends will always be my friends, if I lost some they never really friends to begin with, just acquaintances. Just people I have met along the way, hung out with from time to time, had some good times with but never really clicked with and felt the desire to hang out with one on one.  Or, people who have burned me too many times to forgive and forget.

I have the great friends in Ohio, Columbia and Charleston South Carolina, as well as here in Tennessee.  How have I been blessed to have so many people I consider to be best friends?  These people I know would be there for me no matter what.

The funny thing about 3 of my good Tennessee friends is, I never thought I'd be friends with any of them.  By first impressions, I didn't think we had anything in common.  I thought basically that they were too good for me and wouldn't want to hang out.  Instead of making snap decisions that because they dressed well, or were cute and outgoing that they were automatically bitches and hated all people who weren't like them, I got to know them.  I found out that they were nothing like my own insecurities were telling me they were.  In fact they are really fantastic people.  How did I become friends with them?  Simple.  I was nice.  I hung out and had fun.  I didn't judge.  I didn't assume.  I never talked about them behind their backs.  I didn't search for that one flaw to hold over their head.  I didn't think they were out to get me every time they said something to tease me.  I didn't play the victim.  I wasn't two faced.  I didn't try to start trouble.  I didn't try to turn anyone against them.  I didn't cry myself to sleep because I wasn't invited to every thing they ever did with any of their friends.  I just accepted and loved them for who they are, the same way the do for me.

This folks is how you get friends.... and keep them.

I know it is crazy to think that if you are genuine, and if you aren't constantly looking for the flaws in people to make yourself feel better about who you are as a person.... you can actually have good friends.

I am so happy to have the people in my life that are here now.  And I am so happy the people that used to be in my life and constantly bring me down are gone.  These people who are so insecure with who they are as a person that every little thing that the people around them do is examined to figure out how it is a personal attack on them.

I am still bitter.  I am still angry.  I am still hurt.  I am still sad.

More for what these people have cost me.  Not that they are gone, but that they weren't gone without a price.

Luckily the people that really matter to me know that I care.  Know that I still want to be a part of their lives.

I think it is strange.  I am still so confused to see how some people's minds work.  I just think, wow, how sad is it that you spend your days like this?  How do you get out of bed in the morning?  Have you considered medication?  Do you not want to be happy?  Well, I guess that you can just be miserable on your own.  Glad it isn't going to effect me again.

 Change isn't really a change if you don't actually change the way you act, think, and treat people.

To my great friends: Thank you to all of the beautiful, wonderful women who are in my life and make it better everyday!  I love you all and feel so blessed to know each of you.

 To my friends:  I love you all and know as time goes on we will become even closer and will be great friends.

To my acquaintances:  I hope to get to know you all better!  I'd love to add you to my great friends list :)

To all the rest:  There were fun times.  I don't discount that.  Sadly there was too much drama, too much backstabbing, too much hatred being spewed behind my back.  It just went too far.  It is beyond repair.  Thanks for the good times.  I wish you happiness in your lives; however,  I don't regret my decision to remove you from mine.