Tears and Laughter

These past few days have been filled with tears as we sit back and remember Jenna. We have managed to laugh quite a bit too. We all have such wonderful memories of her and it was nice to sit back and listen to each other's funny stories. It doesn't take away our pain but it does help to laugh.
I keep thinking of 2 specific things over and over again. The first is a funny time and also happens to be the last time I ever saw Jenna. The last time I saw her was June 9, 2007. I had decided to celebrate Mykenzie's birthday early because I knew on her actual birthday Jenna would either be in the hospital or at the beach and I wanted her to be able to come. The kids played and had a great time, so much fun in fact that Kaity (Jenna's middle child) decided that she couldn't possibly take the time to go into the house to go to the bathroom and she apparently thought my yard would do just fine. Jenna was in the house getting Ashlee her clothes (they were in swim suits) since the party was winding down and I went in to tell her, even though I had a hard time cause I was laughing so hard. I will never forget her face when I told her that Kaity took a dump in my yard! Her eyes got huge and she said "She did WHAT!?!?!?" It was so funny! She was sitting in my chair putting Kaity's shoes on shaking her head and rolling her eyes, but the whole time with a smile on her face and trying not to laugh.
You see it seems as though every time I had a playdate at my house someone between Kaylee, Kaity or Rand either peed or pooped on something. My house quickly became known as the "Piss and Shit house" (wonder who dubbed it that, lol) So it was only fitting that it happened one last time with her here.

The second is by no means funny and may make you cry so if you aren't really in the mood for it you may want to skip this and go to the next paragraph. I have had company for the past 3 weeks and haven't been to any playdates other than the day my sister in law came into town on the 6th and then Mykenzie's bday party. I actually hadn't been online much either. Well on the 25th I wasn't home literally all day long and hadn't had a chance to check on Jenna to see how her beach trip was or when she was admitted to the hospital. I checked her blog first thing on Tuesday morning and quickly sent her an email apologizing for not being around much. I then told her about all of my ailments that I had while she was gone (I had a staph infection which caused a UTI) Then I told her that I was leaving for Ohio on Thursday but I wanted to come to the hospital and see her before I left so I would come that night or the next night (Wednesday). She of course emailed me back and said she was sorry about my sicknesses and said that she was feeling pretty good. The leg that was hurting her felt much better and she hadn't had any morphine for it yet. And that she was really feeling good that baby Will was going to do really well through all of the drugs that she had been put on. Then she went on to say "Don't feel like you HAVE to rush up here to visit. I know how stressed it can be getting ready for a trip. I'll be here when you get back too! LOL"

It is these, the most recent things that I keep replaying over and over in my mind. Thanks to friends reminding me of things I had totally forgotten about and to Jenna herself for keeping up with her blog so well. I went back and read it and relived some fun times we shared. So far this loss has not become easier at all, but it is getting easier to remember more of the fun times and focus on that, it isn't till you stop that you get sad once again knowing that there will be no more.